Too many questions in my mind now, I guess. Argh, going to be late for work tomorrow, etc. And those are new questions to add to the pool.

...

Heck! Initially I thought starting on a blog post will help me sort my thoughts. No! Somehow I'm getting lazier and lazier at self-reflection these days. The amount of reflection to do just increases a thousand-fold each time I learn a new concept. The tangled hierachy devours me simply.

Which is why I seldom write. Sorry, Angie. Writing something as a task is one of my pet peeves. The recursive processes in my brain are unstoppable. And they always abend.

Is that why I'm so empathic and cold to the people around me? I really admire people who have friends. I mean, there are so many of them, and they can still handle it?! Is being anti-social merely an excuse for me to ignore the people around me? I am kind to people whenever I can, even those people who would normally seem to be a nuisance. I think fondly of everyone I have met before, enemies and friends alike. Sometimes it is a mere recall of the faces and the conversations we have had, sometimes it's a dramatic and vivid replay.

But there are times in which I totally cannot take it. In these times, I need sleep. As much as Yukari does. (On second thought, that'll be terrible.) But I can't work like that! It's like a warzone in my mind, cells dying fast. I feel like crashing into the wall again and again.

Don't read my posts. Seriously, they're full of crap like these. That is because I write only when I need someone to talk to. And I usually don't want to talk to a human being, for they're mortal and either would put up an AT field to patronize me all the way or just become confused thanks to my habit of coredumping.

Otherwise, I need him. For reasons which I cannot fathom.

orz

Mr. Sandman can~